Tuesday 22 March 2011

Sin... needles and pins..

Needles and pins. Prickly little friends that simultaneously bring you joy and pain. Not Joy as in my deceased sister, although she was, indeed, a pain. No. Joy as in bliss and pain as "It's just a little prick, Sin".

Yeah. All the jokes come to mind. They shouldn't be looking, to be honest, but they're the guys in the white coats with their latex gloves and tired smiles. They're the ones with the restraints and they can snap them on you and strap you down in a record breaking ten seconds if necessary.

You know they actually boast about that? They have competitions some evenings. Grab a patient, hold them down and start the clock. Tick-tock tie the knot. Well, games like that keep insanity away I suppose. Considering they're in the asylum with all us crazy people... And if you're strapped down for long enough, and if those straps are tight enough, you get pins and needles when they finally release you and the blood begins to flow again.

But the flip side of Alice's mirror. Not so much pins and needles, more needles and pins. In fact, to be more specific, just needles. I never liked them. Once, when I was having blood taken - this was in the old days when everything, including me, was normal and hunky-double-dory - I apparently went so white, the doctor said HE wanted to lie down! It was like, when they sucked out, in their one fanged vampiric way, that few little drops of blood, they took a whole chunk of me along with it. As if the needle was a succubus feeding on my life force.

Of course, it's not. It's just a little prick, delivered by, in most cases, a big prick. Do you get the feeling I'm not a fan of the dis-orderlies? Not sure what gave it away, really. I think some of them get a little trigger happy with the medication. Why give one jab when three will do nicely? Why push the needle in slowly when you can ram it home, squeeze it in and yank it out in three-tenths of a heartbeat? Well, administering prescriptions always seemed to interrupt the viewing of some soap or drama or football match that seriously couldn't be missed!

Priorities people!

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